Okay so where did we leave the kiddos at the end of episode one?  Oh yes, Landon/Tex was going to the hospital. He was peeing blood from the bar fight and the girls made him go to the hospital.  The rest of them should be so hungover they can’t move.

Wait, nope they aren’t hungover to bad, they are up and making jello shots in the first scene….It really makes me wish the show was time stamped.  You know it has to be like 3 or 4 in the afternoon right?  Surely…  Oh wait – Landon is back.  AWE.  They gave him some painkillers and had him sleep it off.  Go figure.  Isn’t this guy supposed to be a firefighter?  Most firefighters have EMT training, so if he was that sure he was okay and didn’t need to go to the hospital then why did he?  He then proceeds to tell the world that while he was doped up on painkillers and sleeping it off that he really missed Cassie.  Seriously?  Oh wait I have to remind myself that this is the guy that proposed to Paige on SHA after knowing her a whole two weeks!

So they make some jello shots, stick them in the fridge and head on out to tour Savannah!  BORING!  They even look bored.  Now not to say that touring Savannah is boring, because it isn’t, just watching someone else tour Savannah is.  

So off to the Gym they go.  Oh who do we run into at the gym…can you say awkward moment #1 of the episode…the drunk – puke on the couch – pass out on camera – can’t walk – over served – AKA Collin’s hook-up from last night Erica.  You have to give the girl credit, she did make it to work the next day, no WAY I would have.  I will give credit to OClicious for introducing herself to the Erica, poor thing, you know she didn’t remember any of them.  I also agree with OClicious’ description of this girl “she was a hot mess” – lol.  Love Kristina!

Back to the workout.  Poor Landon he just can’t handle it.  Oh how he LOVES Cassie, newsflash Landon – Cassie is not into you AT ALL.  Of course Landon’s next move really doesn’t help.  In an effort to pick on ‘Flex’ for his training Cassie last time, he calls Cassie ‘flabby’.  Seriously HOW STUPID can you be?  He equates this to 6 yr. old school yard flirting…Kristina OClicious however has it right and calls him a douchelord!  New term for me btw that I will probably use a lot!  Love it!  Cassie has a little girl, cry time in the ladies room with Devin and our girl Kristina, Collin makes him apologize, so he does.  He also hits on her in the process…Cassie’s reaction is HILARIOUS!  She totally shuts him down immediately.  She might as well have said “WHEN PIGS FLY”.

So with all the work-outs complete we head back to the house for more alcohol.  No wonder they all work out so much, they have to with all that alcohol.  Devin gets roses delivered from her “ex-current-nonboyfriend” Kyle and tells us and the rest of the house that he will be coming to visit.  Jersey Jeff immediately calls her out on who this guy is and what is the story.  If looks could kill Jersey would be a deadman, because of course he brings this up in front of Collin and Devin is NOT liking that one bit.  Oh have to give a shout out to Collin for sporting the Faith Cattle Co. hat.  We LOVE Bubba and I am glad to see Collin promoting my fantasy boyfriend’s business!  (Don’t worry Bubba I am NOT a stalker).  So although they have a entire fridge full of jello shots, they head to the local pub to drink and eat.  Here is a quick run-down of that trip…

-Cody’s hat gets taken off his head by some old dude who won’t give it back.  It looks like Cody is going to get into a fight until ‘Mama’ Tristan swoops in and saves the day.  I love Tristan.

-Cassie and Devin get hit on A LOT and the guys don’t like it.  Which leads to a little rant from me to the guys!

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A DOUBLE STANDARD?  It’s okay for you to bring girls back to the house, wear the other girls swimsuits, let them puke all over the furniture, but it isn’t okay for the girls to dance with some guys in a bar?  REALLY?  Get over yourselves and your big brother protector acts….seems more like marking your territory to me.  Okay rant over.

The next morning we learn that Cody can not do laundry, so ‘Mama’ Tristan to the rescue.  We also learn that she  is still in nursing school and has to be gone from the house three days a week.  GOOD GIRL!  I was super thrilled at this.  She didn’t just drop her education to be part of a reality tv show, she is doing both!  YOU GO GIRL!!  That’s what a Gypsy Sister is, we can and will DO IT ALL!

So 1/2 of the cast members go out and 1/2 stay home that night.  Here is a quick run-down of what goes down!

-Landon finda a girl (she was drunk), he has to use the little boys room and while he is gone, drunk girl hits on Jersey.  Jersey shuts her down per the ‘Bro-Code’ – they all go back to the house, including drunk girl and two of her friends.  Jersey is not impressed and just wants to be left alone, which then leads to Landon screaming at him for disrespecting her and him and lord knows what else.  He then pushes Jersey across the room into the wall.  (Steroids is all I can say about that).  Screaming continues, it gets broken up, Landon keeps mouthing – Cassie calms Jersey down outside while also crushing on him pretty hard.  Best part of this is, Landon practically BEGS drunk girl to stay and ‘cuddle’ (his words) and she totally shuts him down and leaves with her friends.  He thens proceeds to stick his tongue out at her like a six year old.  I am beginning to think that he IS 6 years old and that the steroids are what make him look the age he claims to be.  Landon and Jersey make-up the next day….not really heartfelt, but enough for the cameras.  Landon I hope that now that you have seen the episode you called Jersey last night and apologized.

-Meanwhile back at the house, Collin is the only guy that stayed behind, with Devin, Cassie and OClicious Kristina….until Drunk-Gym-Erica from the night before shows up.  This leads to some really awkward moments in the hot tub.  I doubt Collin was complaining though. Drunk Erica stays the night, which leads to even more awkward moments later…fast forward to the next morning and Kristina thinking that drunk Erica is in the shower hops into Collin’s room and oh wait, she isn’t in the shower she is awake…awkward.  Kristina makes the best of it and delivers the best line two lines of the episode.  First she tells Erica “use our shower, use Collin, make yourself at home”  - OMG I laughed so hard….then she tries to wake Collin up, (he has been ‘sleeping’ the whole time OClicious has been in the room) with “rise and shine and give God the Glory, Glory” – yes she sings it and yes I spit water all over my living room when she did.  IT WAS HILARIOUS!  So drunk Erica leaves and btw all of the sudden a HUGE piece of luggage is now leaving with her.  We have to assume she brought it with her…SO ODD.  I mean who does that?  I don’t know, maybe this was something the producers missed and it was discussed that she bring a bag big enough to cram a dead body into.  Who knows.

So the girls go get pedicures and manicures and gossip about last night.  Specifically Landon and Jersey’s ‘fight’.  It becomes completely obvious that Cassie has the hots for Jersey.  Meanwhile back at the house…..The guys decide to make dinner for the girls….everybody say AWE….Flex is impressed with Landon’s romantic side, me however it just makes me laugh.  He is still holding out hope with Cassie, even saying the way to a woman’s heart is through food….after calling her flabby?  Pathetic.  The girls love the meal and the candles and the flowers…

One of Flex’s buddies calls and he puts him on the phone with Cody, Jeff and Cassie, they all three pretend to be different people in the house.  Cody and Jeff got each other down pretty well.  Cassie chooses to pretend to be OClicous.  I may be biased because she is my fave, but it seemed a little TOO mocking for me, more like she was making fun of her….but I have been known to be wrong before.

Wow, this is long…..okay let’s wrap it up.  They all go on a boat ride – we find out its Tuesday – the only thing that really happens is that Collin confesses to Devin that he still has feelings for her and she isn’t quite sure what to do.  Cody counsels Collin and OClicious counsels Devin.  I think OC may end up being little miss matchmaker!  We shall see, make sure and set your DVR’s for next week’s episode!!